Victim
Do you feel as if you are a victim?
It’s a sad fact that so many people go through their lives believing that they do not have any control over their own destiny, like a ship in a storm, blown wherever good or bad events take them.
Not everyone is lucky enough to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but starting out with disadvantages in life does not mean that you are condemned to live with them or that you have no power to change them.The one thing that the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak are blessed with regardless of their status is CHOICE. We may not be able to choose the events in our lives, be they good or bad, but can CHOOSE how we react to them.
Let’s be honest for a moment. Acquiring a victim mentality is incredibly easy especially when things go wrong. It’s so simple to cringe and say “it’s not my fault”.
A victim mentality begins with a lack of clarity of who we are and what we want from life. Vacillation is the only obstacle to progression. A very good friend of mine put it succinctly: indecision is the killer of dreams.
It’s also true that we love to criticize complain and condemn. We cannot meet anyone without griping about the weather (it’s always too hot or too cold); we seldom enjoy a morning coffee without making snide comments about an absent “friend”; we cannot have a drink in a bar without telling everyone how much better off the country would be if we were president….( extreme examples...... but you get the point?)
The biggest problem in our lives is that we allow ourselves to become hostage to negative thoughts and feelings. Wherever you are, even at a wedding, there’ll be someone with something to complain about. We don’t seem to be able to see the open door on our right because we are too busy glaring at the closed door on our left. Letting negative thoughts sap our energy leaves nothing left for creation.
Another reason for being a victim of life is Fear. It’s so easy to find excuses for staying in an unhappy situation; People may tell you to close your eyes and concentrate on the benefits, or they will say: “better safe than sorry”; but the choice to stay or go, change or accept, will always be yours alone.
So what makes us afraid? Is it because of what the family/friends/neighbours will think? Is it fear of damaging our self-image? Is it a lack or an eroding of our self confidence over time?
An inner sense of being inadequate reflects itself externally and we fall further into victim hood when we do a favour for a neighbour and the favour isn't returned. We ask ourselves if the service wasn't good enough, if we should have done more, without even realising that all we have to do is to ask in return. Every religion says that to receive you must first give. How many of us remember that while we are still glaring at the closed door?
The only difference between us and a bird that doesn't know the cage door is open, is that we build our own cages and locks and we are the only ones who hold the key to the door. Few people assume full responsibility for the things that happen in their lives and seldom use the power each of us has to make necessary changes.
The answer to victim hood, is knowing what you want from life and remembering the old saying: "Change what you can and learn to live with what you can’t". With a positive attitude and by taking action you can change enough and find out that living with the rest is not too hard.
Don’t chase success - let it chase you!
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