Fighting With What Is
People have a tendency to be in opposition to “what is”. Often times we lean towards “what we think should be” instead of simply accepting “what is”, which is the reality of the moment.
We mistake our susceptibility to hold on to an elusive alternate reality as our suffering. We want so much for our lives to be different from our present lot that we use it as if it is a dramatic plot point in our life story. This is actually just ridiculous. It is as stupid as saying, “Pigs should fly.”
Different Reality
You might say that you certainly don’t think such thoughts. On the contrary, you probably think a lot of these thoughts on a daily basis – “I should have been a…”, “The neighbors should be more…”, “My partner should…”, “If only things were more like…” – and these probably linger in your mind.
The danger of wanting reality to be different is that it is pointless. You are only creating a stressful situation for yourself. “What is” already is and there is no merit in arguing with the Now.
Fighting with “What is” will get you nowhere. Putting emphasis on wishing for an alternate reality in your mind over accepting the reality is ultimately counterproductive. If you say, “I should not have wasted money on that,” nothing will change but it creates worry and negative energy that would weigh you down. It’s like ramming your head against a brick wall – the wall won’t budge anyway, so why allow yourself to be injured?
Accepting Reality
You don’t have to change “What is”. You would not be able to anyway. Accepting reality will instead allow you to move forward. It creates enough elbow room for you to work your way to a better “what is” in the future. By accepting the reality that you’ve wasted money, you can now say, “What can I do now to create more wealth?”
You do not necessarily condone your current circumstance by accepting “what is”; you are just giving up your mind’s resistance which is ultimately futile. It takes a conscious effort to accept reality because our tendency for drama, to linger in friction with “what is”, has become an unhealthy habit for most of us. It is all about letting go of what we cannot have.
Hanging on to the false hope of changing things now and fighting with “what is” – will always be a losing battle. Accepting “what is”, letting reality be, is not only the proper thing to do but is the first step towards having success.
I wish you well
Dr K. Onu
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